It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
