we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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