I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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