I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
