Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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