I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
