omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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