My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
