Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
