weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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