he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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