I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
