Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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