And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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