He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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