I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize