i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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