Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
