Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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