Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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