worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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