dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
