I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
