sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
