ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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