I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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