yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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