Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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