someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
