The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
