But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
