Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
