Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
