I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
