I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize