All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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