Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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