I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
