guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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