Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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