Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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