Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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