Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
