The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
