so explain again why im purple
no
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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