Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
