But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This baby is an asshole
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
