he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
