I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
