The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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