yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
