If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i think i have herpe
just one?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize