It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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