I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
