I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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