I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize