her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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