She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
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spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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