Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think my moral compass just broke
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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