I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
