This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
