Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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