When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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