Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
